Angry,Upsad and Disapointed...

I feel so lonely and useless today,what ever i fight for or sacrifice for seems to be wasted..i have gone thru alot in my life and i thought after all that the people i love will understand and appreciate me more..but really I'm so disappointed...
i dont know who to trust anymore...everything seems so dull life is not what i wanted it to be...i only pray and hope my children dont go thru what i am going thru..AMIN

FAIZAH'S BIRTHDAY(16/11/2008)

she was not well...so tats y she was crying...

14/11/2008

(this was 2 years ago)

Faizah is not well..diarrhea and vomiting for the past 3 dayz,she lost alot of weight...Kaif is vert attach to me which i was not use to when it comes to faizah,is was more attach to her abbuji,i am Google to find recipe for children porriage,

Both of them are taking their nap right now,i think i better take rest to...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

ok ini muka 7.00am on my birthday..on the way balik my kampung kuala kangsar,my hubby kebetulan working kat sana and at the same time lunch nanti ada org datang meminang my cousin..in the pic is me,kaif and faizah(enjoying the rear view)

accually wanted to snap the clouds tapi tak jadi...ok la tu kan....cantik tau the view,

hehehe this is present from mybeloved hubby...thank you jaania..i love you tho much

birthday cake from my hubby....baca la apa yg tertulis kat atas cake tu...love you jaania

Happenings

Ok what is exactly happening in my house this moment
1-My sis inla n my niece(sarah) is in the master bed room,sis in law is trying to get sarah to sleep
2-my bro(jep) is downstairs with his sudanis friend having some serious talk about religion and country
3-In my bedroom faizah is putting her abbuji to sleep,his is sleeping on her lap and she is tapping him
4-kaif is sleeping at the moment
5-I am on the pc typing this and waiting to pick my mum and youngest bro(farish),he is comming for school holiday

Thats what happening

Events for the last 3 day

2/8/2008...went back to my kampung..yup Kuala Kangsar
for kenduri...well i did hav fun tat day..not to 4get Faizah..she was having a Gala time,bare foot walking aroung siap org panggil dia pehrock hehehe,n she was so quite the whole time we were there cam org bisu lak....as long as she was having fun n her mummy to siap kami menari lagi mlm tu..hahaaha tats wat very interesting in my Kampung..siap jadikan front porch to cam disco tech...n Kaif he was such a sweetie he made way for his mummy n baji(faizah) to hav the day to ourselves,he slept most of the time we were there..yela tido buai dah macam mabuk lak anak aku seorg tu....

WEDDING....2007 n 2008

Kaif rehan

my son is 2 months today.wow cepatnya masa berlalu,dulu time faizah i alwayz wanted her to grow up fast but now wit kaif plz do take ur time,take one step a time,
at time i think abt wat is instore for them in Future,kind of scary coz we hav so much of hope for them but only ALLAH knows and decide wat is in their fate,
as a mother i only can pray that their Future will be bright...
AMEEN

Dilema

work or housewife???
alahai sedihnya hati ni......teringatkan my children lagi la rasa nak menangis,i know la i ni bukan nya the greatest mum on earth but deiiiii im still a MUM!!!!!
i pun ada perasaan like other mum out there...
still terguris hati i when someone very dear to me said tis"y other mums goes to work too"
yelah depa start kerja seblm ada anak,i ni lak lepas ada 2 org anak nak kena start kerja ke kan....
so sad.....
And i alwayz wanted to be a housewife so that i can spend all of my time wit my children..salah ke impian itu?

Only ALLAH knows how i feel........

RAJA KAIF UR REHAN(10 MEI 2008)

pictures tells it all,i ll soon update the details abt my sons birth.....
1-first day after 1 hour of birth
2-the same as above
3-2nd day of his birth
4-10th day...dah botak hehehe

I AM STILL WAITING FOR YOU DEAR

Wei 38 weeks already still not out yet..too many people waiting for you...so you pun tunjuk eksen la ye..hahahah
ok ok take your time...as long as you come out healthy and fine thats all i pray for...
take care happy swimming and if can try to come out early hehehe

Faizah when she was only 13months old

watching this always brings tears to my eyes...coz only me and my hubby knows what she been thru..poor thing but now she is stronger than ever my little baby girl(not little anymore heheh dah besau dah)
was born 1.4 kg now she is 16 kg(2years and 5months)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!!

MAMA IS 51 TODAY..MAY ALLAH BLESS N GRANT ALL YOUR WISHES(I KNOW WHAT SHE WISHES FOR)

TOUCHED BY A SWEET ANGEL

'I LOVE THIS MUMMY'...THIS COMES FROM MY 2 YEARS OLD DAUGHTER....SHE SAYS THIS ALL THE TIME AND ACCOMPANY IT WITH A TIGHT HUG...
AT TIMES I FEEL SO GUILTY BEING MAD AT HER MOST OF THE TIME...I AM SORRY MY DEAR ANGEL...MUMMY AM REALLY SORRY...

AND YOU KNOW WHAT BABY...MUMMY LOVES THIS BABY(FAIZAH) SO MUCH..YOU CANT IMAGINE HOW MUCH..TRUST MUMMY...TOO MUCH

YOU WILL ALWAYZ BE THE MOST PRECIOUS ONE IN MY HEART...

SOMETIMES I EVEN FEEL THAT SHE IS GROWING UP TOO FAST..BUT NO MATTER WHAT BABY MA...YOU WILL ALWAYZ BE MY BABY..(GOSH!!!POOR THING FAIZAH THAT MEANS I CAN NAG YOU )HAHAHAH

I LOVE THIS BABY MA..MUAHHHHHHH

RAINING CATS AND DOGS....

GOSHHHHHHHH IT IS JUST TOO COLD TODAY,FAIZAH IS COVERED IN HER BLANKET AND HER ABBUJI ,I JUST COVERED HIM TOO...ME?YEAH I KNOW I SAID IT WAS COLD I AM STILL OK...JUST BECAUSE OF MY CURRENT CONDITION MY BODY HEAT IS QUITE GOOD,IF IT WAS BEFORE YOU CAN SEE MY CRYING ON THE BED BECAUSE OF COLD,IMAGINE THAT I CRY BECAUSE I CANT STAND COLD...ISH ISH ISH...

WUAHHHH!!!OK TIME TO GET MY SLEEP....I LOVE THE RAIN....HEHEHE

FAIZAH :)

SHE MADE UP FOR YESTERDAY..SHE WAS SO NICE TO ME TODAY..AND I REALISE THAT I SHOULD BE MORE PATIENCE WITH HER..AFTER ALL, WE WENT THRU ALOT TOGETHER RIGHT...AND I KNOW FOR SURE SHE LOVES ME ALOT...YES I KNOW SHE IS SHOWING IT...MUAHHHH
MUMMY LOVE SO MUCH BABY MA.....

ANGRY.........!!!!!!!11

I AM VERY,VERY,VERY ANGRY WITH MY FATHER...BECAUSE HE IS INTERFERING WITH THE WAY I DISPLIN MY DAUGHTER......I AM VERY ANGRY....EVEN AFTER TELLING HIM NICELY HE STILL DOES THE SAME....I CANT AFFORD TO LET MY DAUGHTER SPOIL......
WHAT SHOULD I DO........ARGHHHHHHHHH
I AM VERY ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!1

THIS AFTERNOON

FAIZAH IS ON THE BED....WATCHING ME BLOGGING...SHE WANTS TO DISTURB BUT SHE TOO SLEEPY...I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO SPANK HER ANYMORE..SHE IS ONLY 2 YEARS N 4 MONTHS BUT THE AMOUNT OF SPANKING SHE GETS FROM ME IS JUST TOO MUCH...I MUST LEARN TO CONTROL MY TEMPER.....NOBODY IS PERFECT...SO I HAVE TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT SHE IS THE HYPER ACTIVE CHILD N SHE NEEDS MORE ATTENTION OR NOT SHE GETS BORED...
SO MY GUDIA RANI SHONO PALO...MUMMY PROMISE MUMMY WILL TRY MY BEST TO BE MORE PATIENCE WITH YOU...OK DARLING

SHE IS ASLEEP NOW WITH HER BOTTLE IN HER MOUTH...MY ADORABLE BABY...MUMMY LOVE YOU SAYANG........MUAHHHHHHHHHH

DAD'S BIRTHDAY 17/03/2007

WELL HE IS 59 THIS YEAR....MAY ALLAH BLESS HIM...AMIN

FAIZAH 1